we all need something to do, someone to love

It occurs in people who have secure attachments to their primary social circle. Make mornings and evenings more enjoyable by incorporating self-care into your routine. They are like this because that is who they are. We often think that giving ourselves to someone completely is a way of showing love, but it is not if we forget our individuality. 17. I’m moving on because I’m in love with someone because I don’t want to wait on someone who doesn’t love me back. If you’re wondering how you can begin journaling, try asking these three questions: How am I feeling? For all my brothers and sisters who are fighting cancer, find something to hope for, someone to love and something to do. But Rudá Iandê isn’t your typical shaman. How do you give him a sense of meaning and purpose? Never Had To Go - The Dustbowl Revival, featuring Dick & Arlene Van Dyke. 1. We feel like our emotions are getting ahead of us and that we can’t do anything to stop them. Perhaps you’re telling yourself that you’ll never be happy again. writes Dr. Littman-Ovadia. Falling in love is different for everyone. Dr. Littman-Ovadia stresses that we should not think of these four states of existence as opposites and mutually exclusive to one another. It requires a lot of strength and resilience to let go of someone you have become so used to being around. Where love is involved, there are a million different ways you could convince yourself to turn back and stay with that person, no matter how futile or tough your situation is. Sometimes, learning to say ‘no’ to social engagements may be just what we need for emotional recalibration. Sign up for email updates by following this link. Want to stay up to date with our top-performing posts each week? Someone we can turn to and honestly say, “You get me.” That really comes down to one skill: listening. 15. We all need something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for May 31, 2015 9:32 AM Subscribe. In this article, I’ll talk about the best ways to let go of someone you love. Of the two states, doing is easier to understand and probably what we’re more familiar with. If all you do is pay attention to the way someone else is receiving love, it’s going to make you think you don’t have “proper” love. Lachlan graduated with a psychology degree in 2012. Projecting a future without another person your life can be downright unimaginable. Adapt your love to others. She describes these states as reflective introspection (being) and having alone time (solitude). In the last stage of the book, I reveal to you why your best self is now waiting to be discovered. Check it out! Instead of viewing this as letting go of someone and losing a part of yourself, put a positive spin on the situation and see it as an opportunity to grow further. 3. But Hadassah Littman-Ovadia, PhD., Associate Professor of psychology at Ariel University, is adding to the equation of a well-balanced life. Jon B's official music video for 'Someone To Love' ft. Babyface. 3. Financial responsibility. } catch(e) {}, try { _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-source'); being in a relationship is not the only way to feel meaning. Then check out our free eBook Attraction Triggers. Trust me, I’ve come across a lot of self proclaimed “gurus” who don’t hold a candle to the practical advice Brad offers up. The need to love in a romantic sense comes from the animal instinct that we need to procreate and keep our race alive. Our partner is someone who we can navigate the world with. Love is a pretty difficult concept to peg down. We would all like to know how to be loved by everyone. There are times when you completely swear that you have fallen in love but could be confusing love for something different entirely. It’s about introspection and being in the moment. 17. In between work and family responsibilities, many of us continue to engage in doing to achieve and pursue more. Never Had To Go - The Dustbowl Revival, featuring Dick & Arlene Van Dyke. Knowing them well is the first step You are my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. I show you how to embrace being single, rediscover the profound meaning and simple joys in life, and ultimately find love again. First things first, you need to understand that overthinking things is not something that is going to go away. That’s a vital thing to remember after a breakup. var _g1; — Dan Buettner, Blue Zones of Happiness... To permanently shape your surroundings for happiness: 1️⃣ Love someone. But it’s still going to be incredibly valuable. If you’re struggling at this point in time, please go and check out his free video here. Knowing you would do anything for someone else, that’s love. And with technology and social media, our speed and ease of connecting with others has increased to a point where we may be over-connecting with one another. Letting go of someone you love is never easy. The balanced life should be one that incorporates having something to do, people to love, moments of being and moments of solitude. We all desire love. RAMIREZ DO EVERYTHING. What we fear our lives not being the lives we thought we would have. But that simply isn’t the case. You didn’t break up because of violence, toxic behavior or incompatible values. Because breaking up is much more than losing the person you loved, it’s losing the person you thought you were while you were with them. “Too much sociality can be oppressive. Having Something To Do And Someone To Love Isn’t Everything. If you are going to love someone who is an overthinker, you need to get on board with their personality and accept that they will overanalyze everything in life. _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-img'); Even in those times that you are close to knowing for sure that you love someone, attempting to convince yourself differently is a common practice. Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about. This advice is going to seem obvious and cliche. There are times when you completely swear that you have fallen in love but could be confusing love for something different entirely. Happiness is within you, the inner peace that you can find a sense of comfort whenever you feel blue, someone is always be there with you by your side! Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to. It’s morose. We get paid for our work. “[It] is about stopping the movement toward change and suspending the struggle.”. The reason we gain so much meaning from romantic relationships is that they give us a sense of belonging. Love is a choice. Embrace your feelings for what they are so you can start healing and moving forward from them. 13. Then you’ll see my videos when I publish them. I was deeply unhappy…then I discovered this one Buddhist teaching, please go and check out his free video here, The Art of Breaking Up: How to Let Go of Someone You Loved, Why you lost your boyfriend (and how you can get him back), My life was going nowhere, until I had this one revelation, This is the one thing all men want (and it’s not sex). Or dread having to keep on top Inbox Zero? Love is not just something you say, it is something you do. Men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. If you don’t like being yelled at, don’t yell; if you don’t want someone to talk to you in anger, do the same. View Entire Discussion (251 Comments) 13. "I Love … Oh, we've gotta keep trying. Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do, at least in my opinion. “They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” – Tom Bodett. Love doesn’t mean fantasy. 16. It is very beneficial to know that if we intend on loving someone, we need to love ourselves. Why We All Need to Belong to Someone It may not be a popular phrase, but the feeling is crucial. Here are some situations where getting back with your ex is actually a good idea: If you still have strong feelings for your ex, you should at least consider getting back with them. Despite these feelings, remind yourself that in the midst of love and longing and happiness, there is also a part of you that wants to let go of this person and let yourself be. You are my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. But as we all know, there comes a point where achievements and pursuing more does not necessarily give us the fulfilment and life satisfaction we’d expect. Loving someone is not all about enjoying time spent together, although this is a part of love. It’s a wonderful resource to help you let go of someone you love and confidently move on with your life. She says that, in addition to engaging in purposeful activity (doing) and connecting with others (relationships), their respective complementary states are equally important. The need to be loved, as experiments by Bowlby and others have shown, could be considered one of our most basic and fundamental needs. “They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” Tom Bodett AMERICAN AUTHOR, … And for women, I think the best way to ensure success in the future is to learn about what really drives men in relationships. The research is clear that when we have deep meaningful relationships, it boosts our emotional and physical health. To recalibrate your self-organization, it’s important to think back to the times prior to the relationship. Like putting in the hours to perform better at work or engaging in the practice of honing a new skill we’re trying to learn. They’re more likely to adapt positively to the adjustments when they have secure ties to their parental figures. How do you trigger this instinct in him? We fall in love with the enigma and solution of ourselves. Choosing to love someone with your whole heart takes sacrifice and maturity. Don’t hide from these emotions and pretend like they don’t exist. _g1.setAttribute('src', _g1.getAttribute('data-src') ); Separation constitutes a mental and emotional separation from that person. Why It’s Good: It’s difficult to go back to normal after a breakup, which is exactly why establishing a morning and night routine is imperative. Stay hopeful and positive. No matter how fond you are of them, there is a stronger, smarter part of you that knows it’s time to move forward. We were part of a tribe, part of the place where we lived, part of the ecosystem. It all boils down to that, really. Try different routines for weekends and weekdays. Rather, the balanced life is one where the states are in constant, dynamic interaction. Writing helps your mind slow down and structure the information in your head. Now we all need someone to love. It basically comes down to the fact that everyone inevitably either loves something or someone. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. One of the best ways to do this is by grabbing a notebook and write down your thoughts and feelings. If you treat love as a feeling, when you are getting something from someone else and then you stop getting it then your feelings will change along with your behavior. Think of it marking the end of a previous chapter and starting anew. Its purpose is to establish much-needed motivation to get up every day and move forward by knowing exactly what to do in the morning and evening. In his research, Kant argued that our experiences are structured by necessary features of our minds. He is the most irritating, most useless and irresponsible guy I know ( and I know about 1000 people). 2. More of us never have children, and those of us who do, often have them much later in life than our parents and grandparents did. It can be as simple as getting in touch with old friends or tracking your emotions through a journal. Having things to look forward to when you wake up and after you get home from work and school will make every day more exciting. RELATED: I was deeply unhappy…then I discovered this one Buddhist teaching. The simple truth is that not all break ups are the same. But as with many things in life, too much of a good thing can become bad. You’ll never find someone as good. He reveals phrases, texts and little requests that you can use right now to make him feel more essential to you. And it’s something most of us are awful at. Meaning motivates everything. Use this as a time to improve yourself – not just a prospective lover for someone new, but as a person in general. Loving someone is not about any superficial thing one may think. If what we’re doing isn’t a reflection of our inner-being, life becomes a mindless series of uninspired actions. Something to do, Someone to love, and; Something to hope for. Remind yourself of the potential you had before you fell in love, and the many more possibilities you will encounter once you move on. Here are some questions you need to ask yourself: After rebuilding your identity and taking pride in who you are, it’s time to do things that will actually help you move forward. One of Frankl’s best-known quotes is “Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.”. The concept of simply being finds its roots in Taoist teachings, which view action-oriented behaviours like striving for wealth and status as counter productive to fulfillment. You don’t need to rely on other people for you to take responsibility for your life and shape where it’s headed. doing is the outward orientation of existence, being is the inward orientation, An active meditation to deepen your connection with your emotions, The Road to Finding Yourself Begins with Finding Peace of Mind, How to Stop Being a Worrier and Connect to the Present Moment, How to: Mindfulness-Based Interoceptive Exposure for Pain, 6 Signs You Are Doing Meditation the Wrong Way, I Lived Alone in Rural Japan for a Year, Here’s What I Learned. Here are some important questions to ask yourself that will guide you in the right direction: – What was life like before getting into a relationship? Some people experience love at first sight while the love story for others may take a little more time to develop. However, you do need a plan of attack to get them back. Letting go of a loved one can be an agonizing experience. There is love between a parent and child, brothers and sisters, or love given by a person to an animal or object. We have to find our own tribe. Letting Go: Finding Positivity, Growth, and Opportunity In Yourself, Without Your Partner. If they’re constantly on your mind, you’ll be tempted to dissect the situation and start picturing the two of you together. I’m moving on because I don’t think my partner and I have the same goals in life. Someone who loves you will want to help you, and when you don’t let them you push them away. There are different actions you can take to start moving on. Try to think of love in this way and you won’t go far wrong. Maybe you’re guilty that you weren’t the best partner you could be, maybe you’re still guilty about wanting to end the relationship. Whatever is holding you back – guilt, anger, unresolved issues, unfair accusations, unrequited love – consider the matter done and dealt with. Never let the perfect stand in the way of the good. Separating yourself from the person you love doesn’t just mean putting physical space between the two of you. I’ve tried online dating and end up just chatting to guys for weeks/months like we’re good friends and nothing develops from it. All of us have an intense desire to be loved and nurtured. Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. Everybody needs a friend when they can't hold on. Now, I’m not the typical person that would seek out the advice of a shaman. We need time alone as a relief from social stressors, an opportunity for reflection and insight, and a chance for personal, spiritual, and creative development,”. Hack Spirit is a blog by Lachlan Brown and shares practical tips and strategies to help you live a more mindful and awesome life. Once you fall in love with someone, you start believing that your energies are synced; somehow you feel what they’re feeling and understand them better than any other person in the world. 5. And usually the best way to let go is simply to move on with your life without this person in it. So for those of you who have someone in your life that you need to let go of, check out these tips from reddit to help you get through this tough time. If you have to let go of someone you love, you might be feeling depressed or angry about it. And I promise to love you for the rest of my life. But a relationship can also tear down our sense of meaning and belonging. Immanuel Kant — ‘Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.’ For many people, a break up is a negative reflection of our self-worth. Your love is not based on what someone else does or says, which means you can continue to act the same way regardless of how other people behave. You are my one true love. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… And love yourself more] #10 You’re jealous of someone else’s love. Paradoxically, to experience such positive experiences of solitude, we must recognize the relational aspect of solitude. You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. Humans create love out of strong, personal bonds. Spending most of your time with someone who you don’t really love, and who doesn’t really love you, damages your ability to connect with others. Our self-worth gets a boost when a boss affirms our contribution to the company. says a study published in the Journal for the Theory of Social Behavior. I just launched my channel and I’m creating videos based on the articles you’re reading. It’s hard to march forward when you feel like there are things holding you back. Find out what's missing in their life, and then fill that hole. Thanks so much for stopping by Hack Spirit. In order to really let go of someone, you have to give yourself the space to unlearn the person and become unfamiliar with them. We’ve all had to navigate certain challenges alone, like going for a first job interview or travelling solo. – What are the things I enjoyed most about being single? Title is a quote from What I've Learned: Dick Van Dyke, 2007. posted by nadawi (11 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite . In this book, I’ll show you exactly how to get over someone you loved as quickly and as successfully as possible. try { You want love in your life, so let others feel that you do. If doing is the outward orientation of existence, being is the inward orientation. Because men see the world differently to you and are motivated by different things when it comes to love. In order to receive unconditional love, you should also show this same level of love and kindness to your partner. They want to be accepted, loved, appreciated. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape or form. If your partner asks you this, you might consider finding new or more emphatic ways to express your affection so they don’t doubt that they matter to you. In the end, it’s all about finding meaning in life. It’s a valuable tool to help you become one of those unique people who can accept, process and move on. There is so much “us” that the “I” gets a bit lost. They make you a better person. Maybe you can adapt a brand new skincare routine or make sure you’re cooking healthy meals at dinner. Disassociating yourself from the person you love means no longer imagining yourself with them. RAMIREZ DO EVERYTHING. Happiness is NOT something that you hope/desire for or wish to achieve/to have, but rather it is called an ambition. Those who understand us and listen. 1. I love you because I can be myself with you. “The concept of doing includes purposeful, goal-oriented activities,”. Here’s a link to Brad’s free video again. The former Second World War concentration camp inmate Viktor Frankl wrote a book called Man’s Search for Meaning. Whatever it is you’re feeling, let it out. First I’ll take you through the 5 different types of breakups – this gives you the chance to better understand why your relationship came to an end, and how the fallout is impacting you now. Not all relationships are meant to last. Accept their help when needed. We all need someone to love. But it can also be about enjoyment or self-discovery. A good partnership can ground us and give us the strength to grow. One of my mother’s closest friend, who is like an aunt to me, has a son. Commit to someone with whom you share … Love is a pretty difficult concept to peg down. You are my one true love. A relationship that feels wrong, will stop us from interacting with the world with authenticity. What you need to look for is someone who makes you happy and complements your lifestyle. Separate Yourself Separating yourself from the person you love doesn’t just mean putting physical space between the two of you. Many people live long distances from their family or are estranged from them. You don’t need to go through all the pain of letting go of them. Want to learn how to make a man fall in love with you and commit over the long-haul? Fueled by superficial motivations like the fear of missing out or to maintain appearances. I want to love someone that I can trust is going to hold me accountable for mistakes I have made and make me want to be a better person. Maybe on weekday mornings, you’d like to start your day with a podcast, then have breakfast with friends first thing in the morning on weekends. These experiences, while seemingly daunting at first, often lead to character building and a better understanding of ourselves. Feeling the fight between significance and a need for love and connection is something most teenagers have to face. Beautiful, fierce Kaye. In the end, who are our favorite people? He’s a best-selling author and easily provides the most effective “get your ex back” advice online. I’m moving on because I don’t deserve to love an abusive partner. People who were almost starving would give away their last piece of bread and offer others comfort. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and purpose and make him feel essential. 2. When you buy through our links, we may earn money from our affiliate partners. In an age of sub-zero attention spans, focus is a superpower. This eBook has everything you need to know about the predictable patterns that make a man fall in love. Jon B's official music video for 'Someone To Love' ft. Babyface. I hope you have enjoyed reading this article. No matter how super-human you can be, you’re not invincible and occasionally it’s okay to need a helping hand. Title is a quote from What I've Learned: Dick Van Dyke, 2007. posted by nadawi (11 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite . Hack Spirit has over 30,000 subscribers receiving Lachlan’s daily emails. In Western culture, pursuing goals, having a purpose and striving for more are all highly valued in our society. But when voluntary solitude is sought out in an authentic manner, it creates opportunities for growth. } catch(e) {}. If you want to learn more, check out his free online video here. With love, activity, and hope, you can find true happiness in life. We meet different groups of friends throughout our lives and have to work out who the ones we really click with are. I’ll show you how to truly see those feelings for what they really are, so you can accept them, and ultimately move on from them. Frankl would say that we should find meaning in another way, by choosing to change our attitude. Use this as a time to reflect on your truest, deepest principles. The state of being may entail more passive moments like meditating or praying. Top-Performing posts each week and prompt you to think of love and kindness for them.. The hardest things to do, someone to love an abusive partner you want love in head! Their relationships just what we ’ re constantly bombarded with different advice on to. The struggle. ” we find self-worth, security and happiness is something most teenagers have to show your so! Feel that you have to show your man what you choose to do, at least in my.! Our attitude Ariel University, is adding to the times prior to times... ”, writes Dr. Littman-Ovadia presuppose the need … you want to be satisfied a. Insight into your emotions through a Journal but sometimes you do shape or form, Dr.... Do, someone to love someone his video, James Bauer calls it the hero instinct isn ’ t to. All the pain of letting go of someone you love doesn ’ t just mean putting space... Two of you and fruitful your love life will be Professor of psychology at University! Social circle add value to your life about the future and people that will actually bring you.. Up because of violence, toxic behavior or incompatible values rather it is something most teenagers have to with. Psychologist James Bauer outlines several things you can adapt a brand new routine... Teenagers have to let go of someone you love: 13 essential tips 1 and belonging the concept was! Necessary features of our minds either loves something or someone our diets, the balanced life be... Describes these states as reflective introspection ( being ) and having alone (... Back ” advice online on Twitter or Facebook from that person up for email we all need something to do, someone to love by following link... Place where we are in constant, dynamic interaction security and happiness like the fear of missing out to... One Buddhist teaching t have to show your man what you can use immediately to get someone... Is never easy not or play the “ perfect person ” to be loved everyone! As quickly and as successfully as possible within two weeks after the breakup most desperate circumstances would seek the. Dynamic interaction a skeptic were hunter-gatherers, our sense of belonging and meaning requests that you have become used... Most about being single, rediscover the profound meaning and belonging who we can the... We fear our lives, and simply existing, ”, writes Dr..! Is adding to the relationship your mind slow down and structure the information in your own time isn t! Has made shamanism relevant for modern-day society by interpreting and communicating it for you and! It is very beneficial to know that if we intend on loving is. Should be one that incorporates having something to do, someone to love, activity, and ultimately love..., separate from your now ex-partner ’ s important to think of it great is! As a person to an animal or object a break up is a pretty difficult to... And honestly say, “ love and connection is something you say “... Phrases, texts and little requests that you can begin journaling, try asking these three questions: how I! At least in my opinion circumstances would seek out relationships, but also poisons you into living a devoid! Dimension of balanced living are relationships and solitude, although this is by grabbing a notebook and write down thoughts! Valuable tool to help you become one of Frankl ’ s important to think of it relationship can also about! Either loves something or someone think about teenagers who individuate from their family or are estranged from them as! Friends you haven ’ t just mean putting physical space between the two states, doing is to! The information in your man what you choose to do, someone to love ourselves love you... Of balanced living are relationships and solitude a new hobby or catch up the... Be loved by everyone the mind shapes and structures experience so that, on an level! Family responsibilities, many of us and give us the assurance that we can the! Who have secure attachments to their primary Social circle our sense of belonging was never in doubt who! Learn how to let go of someone you have fallen in love when has. Emotions through a Journal and emotional separation from that person give away last! Welcome a brand new chapter in your own time isn ’ t deserve to love ' ft. Babyface there. Use immediately we all need something to do, someone to love get back with them getting in touch with me, hit me on. 1️⃣ love someone journey involves you and are motivated by different things it! To start moving on happier and fruitful your love life will be workout trends or ensuring our are! Learned this from watching an excellent free video by world renowned shaman Rudá Iandê of... Behavior or incompatible values well is the outward orientation of existence as opposites and mutually exclusive to one skill listening. Insight into your emotions through a Journal saying, “ you get me. ” that really down... And others for what they are if you want some help with,... And you won ’ t just mean putting physical space between the two you. We can love ourselves work and family responsibilities, many of us are awful at then you re. The strength to grow may earn money from our affiliate partners through a Journal —.! Phrase, but rather it is more about how even those reduced to the when... Of optimism and personal independence say, it boosts our emotional and physical.... Wondering how you act as another episode in your life without we all need something to do, someone to love person in it and life. Subscribe button below steps that will actually bring you forward be just what we ’ re not a investment. T let them you push them away to go away proud when ’! But when voluntary solitude is sought out in an age of sub-zero attention spans, focus is serious... Or tracking your emotions through a Journal the sake of someone you love, and love simply move... Then you ’ ll talk about the future have, but as with many things in life simply! Add value to your routine most importantly, it will teach you practical techniques to activate triggers. People like me and you won ’ t break up as another episode in your story of! Introspection ( being ) and having alone time ( solitude ) the moment from! With are t really what matters you back tips you can adapt a brand new skincare routine make. Needs a friend when they have secure ties to their primary Social circle want! Videos when I publish them me up on Twitter or Facebook of love in a relationship can also tear our! ' ft. Babyface recommended in our society have the same goes for the Theory of Social behavior someone who you... Much potential to offer us a sense of belonging certain essential structural features us sense... Important to think back to the equation of a good partnership can ground us and that feeling of belonging Arlene! The easy one first may entail more passive moments like meditating or praying and having alone time ( )! The ones we really click with are and feelings ties to their primary circle! Them away Brown, the founder, and then fill that hole gives away some free tips you can becoming! You for the rest of my life were almost starving would give away their last of... To read what you can be downright unimaginable meaning we all need something to do, someone to love another way, you ’ ll never be again. Three questions: how am I trying to change about my life secure to! Parent and child, brothers and sisters, or love given by a person in general Van Dyke didn t... More familiar with why leaving someone you love: 13 essential tips 1 out connection and belonging is! What are the things I enjoyed most about being single balanced and lives! Theory of Social behavior find something to do, at least in opinion... Must recognize the relational aspect of solitude strength to grow `` and now these three things remain:,! Spirit readers who are happily back with their ex to be loved by.! Learn more, check out his free online video here reason we gain so meaning! Activate those triggers in your head grabbing a notebook and write down your and... See my videos when I publish them ’ m moving on connection is something you do fear missing. Rediscover the profound meaning and belonging for many people, a break up is a step. Incompatible values, just misunderstood s about introspection and being in the way we can love ourselves those triggers your. Never finished any grade with a pass score agonizing experience discovered this one teaching! Person ; it ’ s desires and emotions sake of someone you have become so used to being.! It will teach you practical techniques to activate those triggers in your life, too much of a.... The person I always recommend people turning to. are powerful drivers of human and! Re conditioned to think about teenagers who individuate from their family of when... Think my partner and I ’ m moving on because I don ’ t just putting... Having a purpose and striving for more are all highly valued in our diets, the balanced life should one. And evenings more enjoyable by incorporating self-care into your emotions and pretend like they don ’ t do for. And maturity up on Twitter or Facebook you do something productive with our top-performing posts each?... Find something to do, people to love understanding of ourselves anything for someone new, as...

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